I have a friend who lives in Germany, of course renting a house. A tiny apartment for the couple and their small child. Due to their busy work, the whole family lives quite simply. The house is more like a stop to rest after a long working day than a place to return to, to truly live fully in that space. Recently, she has started to get used to her familiar place, learning how to arrange a comfortable space, arrange food in the kitchen, create green spaces, and bring fresh air into the house to breathe.
A few days after the city returned to normal life, the small family went to a resort, rented a bungalow in the forest to borrow some “fresh air” to fill their chests. She said that if she had her own house in the future, it would definitely have enough green space to breathe. Now, she knew what she and her family really needed – a peaceful and fresh place to stay.
These days, we are at home together 24/7. Normally, we eat together, sleep together, and work together almost all day long, but after nearly 3 months, all of those daily activities take place in the same space - our beloved home. He sweeps the floor, mops the floor, bathes the dog, and takes care of the plants. I cook, clear the dishes, and feed the dog. He does the laundry, I fold the clothes. There are no coffee dates, no car trips, no business appointments with clients. So how can we not get bored of looking at each other?! When we first fell into a situation where we had never met before in decades of living together, we could not help but feel confused. There were times when I had to ask him: "Are you bored?", he nodded and smiled: "Yes, I am bored!".
Having said that, the next day, he started ordering seeds to plant trees. As for me, I made a resolution to turn on the computer at a certain time every day, trying to complete the unfinished book manuscripts; if I wasn't writing, I would review lessons for students of the "intuitive writing" class (a course I started at the end of last year); if I wasn't reviewing lessons, I would practice drawing, practicing body movements, reading books, preparing textbooks, and taking online courses. Every day that passed, we were busy with our own work, to keep ourselves from becoming lethargic and tired, and to create enough distance so that we could still... miss each other.
One day, while I was still sleeping, he shook me awake, his voice cheerful: “Let me show you a miracle!”. I kept asking to close my eyes to wait for the miracle he had just brought. “No need to close your eyes, really! Miracles are in everyday life!”. It turned out that the “miracle” was the beautiful sprouting seeds. He had planted them in a damp paper towel the day before.
- Look, the seeds are all growing well, very healthy! Their eyes have opened, they have roots, and they are about to sprout leaves!
As soon as he said that, I realized that miracles in life are very ordinary, born from someone's efforts, and there is nothing mysterious about them. The miracle in the eyes of a child waiting for a Christmas gift from Santa Claus is born from the efforts of the child's parents. The miracle in the golden rice field is born from the efforts of hard-working farmers. The miracle on the prosperous dining table is born from the efforts of the grandmother and mother who take care of the kitchen and the grandfather and father who work hard to earn a living. The miracle in the lush green garden is born from the efforts of the person who takes care of it every day, fertilizes, waters, and kills insects. The miracle a patient receives after a surgery or a long treatment is born from the efforts of the medical team. The miracle in love is so beautiful that both people can understand, love, sympathize, tolerate, and guide each other is born from the efforts of both people.
Like one morning, he was gardening, suddenly remembered it was lunchtime so he texted me a message. So I stopped working, went to the kitchen, made a tray of bread and cold cuts and brought it up to the terrace for us to enjoy lunch together. While eating, I looked at the small garden, and listened to him tell stories about what seeds he had just planted today, how long it would take for the seeds to sprout into seedlings, which pots of plants he had just added fertilizer to, what kind of fertilizer he had just bought... I also told him about the progress of work, the things I had just finished, and funny stories with my fellow students. In addition to planting more trees to bring freshness into the house, surely, keeping an optimistic and positive spirit, caring for and looking after each other will also help improve mental health. Changing the dining space is also a way to prevent boredom at home, like putting on a new coat for the stories around daily meals.
Did you know that surrounding each of us is a circle, representing our own space and the space we share with the outside world, with other people?
When we interact with someone, if we are in a good mood today, the way we speak and behave is very pleasant. On the contrary, if we are stressed or angry today and someone comes to ask us, we often respond to them with our unpleasantness. Therefore, our actions and attitudes when we behave on the outside are just a reflection of our inner world. Inside each person is the space that contains that person's thoughts and feelings. Anyone will have their own "circle" of the world. When two people are together, there will be an interweaving of these two spaces, which is the atmosphere between the two people. Therefore, when we are with someone, it is like entering a room, we will feel the atmosphere of that room is gentle or stuffy.
There were times when we argued and shed countless tears, even said hurtful words to each other, just because we didn’t know how to share “space” with each other. We were both together, seeing each other very often, but if each person didn’t know how to nurture their own positive energy, it would easily create a suffocating atmosphere. Or in many cases I know, two people sat opposite each other, or even lay next to each other, but it seemed like the space between them was immense, and they couldn’t even really see each other’s presence.
This makes me think of the saying: “Out of sight, out of mind”. Is that true, or are the two people just not compatible?out of mindshould be newface away? If each person knows how to take care of their own spiritual garden, then the beautiful feelings with the other person will also be strengthened. On the contrary, if each person cannot protect the space inside themselves with positive energy, it is easy to "distance the heart" and then lead to "distance from face" - no need or desire to meet and share with the other person. In addition, creating changes in the family's living space will also help keep the relationship fresh. Then, even though the two people are far apart, they still cannot distance their hearts.
My husband and I share the same view that “wherever we live is home”, so no matter how difficult or favorable the circumstances are, we always try to take care of our living space so that we can relax and breathe at any time, shaking off the thick layers of dust in the atmosphere of a bustling Saigon and the chaos that covers our minds; because home, to us, is a peaceful refuge. My husband and I’s life these days is extremely peaceful, although each of us has our own space to do our own work, our hearts still turn to each other, to occasionally exchange a little tenderness. And at any time, we can find a cool green space in the small garden, or by the windowsill shaped like a star fruit tree in front of the yard to breathe, listen to ourselves, listen to each other, keeping our minds pure.
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