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I have a friend who lives in Germany, of course, in rented accommodation. A tiny apartment for her, her husband, and their young child. Due to busy work schedules, their family life is quite simple. The house is more like a stopover after a long workday than a place to truly return to and live fully in. Lately, she's been starting to get used to her familiar surroundings, learning how to arrange a comfortable space, organize food in the kitchen, create greenery, and bring fresh air into the house to breathe.
A few days after the city returned to its normal rhythm, the small family went to a resort, renting a bungalow nestled in a forest so they could borrow some fresh air to fill their lungs. She said that if they ever had their own house, it would definitely have to have plenty of green space to breathe. Now, she knows what she and her family truly need - a peaceful and refreshing sanctuary.
Lately, we've been home together 24/7. Normally, we eat together, sleep together, and work together almost all day, but for nearly three months, all those everyday activities have taken place in a single space – our beloved home. He sweeps, mops, bathes the dog, and tends to the plants. I cook, clear the dishes, and feed the dog. He does the laundry, and I fold the clothes. No coffee dates, no road trips, no business meetings with clients. So how can we avoid getting bored of seeing each other?! When we first found ourselves in a situation we'd never experienced in our lives, we were inevitably confused. There was a time when I had to ask him, "Are you bored?" He nodded and smiled, "Yes, of course!"
Having said that, the next day, he started ordering seeds to plant. As for me, I resolved to turn on my computer at a specific time every day, trying to finish the unfinished manuscripts of my books; if I wasn't writing, I was reviewing assignments for students in my "intuitive writing" class (a course I started at the end of last year); if I wasn't reviewing assignments, I was practicing drawing, body movement, reading books, preparing teaching materials, and participating in online courses. Each day passed, and we were both busy with our own work, to keep ourselves from becoming sluggish and tired, and to create just enough distance so that we could still... miss each other.
One day, while I was still asleep, he woke me up, his voice cheerful: "I'm going to show you some magic!" I insisted on closing my eyes to await the miracle he was about to bring. "No need to close your eyes, really! Miracles are very common in everyday life!" It turned out that the "magic" was actually the pretty little seeds that were sprouting. He had planted them in a damp tissue the day before.
Look, the seedlings are all growing well, they're so healthy! They've opened their eyes, they have roots, and they're about to sprout leaves!
When he said that, I realized that miracles in life are indeed very ordinary, born from someone's efforts, and there's nothing mysterious about them. The miracle in the eyes of a child waiting for Christmas presents from Santa Claus comes from the efforts of the child's parents. The miracle in the golden rice field comes from the efforts of hardworking farmers. The miracle on the table at a lavish meal comes from the efforts of the grandmother and mother who tend the kitchen and the grandfather and father who work hard to make a living. The miracle in the lush green garden comes from the efforts of those who daily care for, fertilize, water, and pest control. The miracle a patient receives after surgery or a long treatment comes from the efforts of the medical team. The miracle in a beautiful love, where both people can understand, cherish, empathize with, forgive, and guide each other, comes from the efforts of both individuals.
One morning, he was gardening when he suddenly remembered it was lunchtime and sent me a text message. So I stopped what I was doing, went down to the kitchen, prepared a tray of bread and cold cuts, and brought it up to the rooftop for us to enjoy lunch together. While eating, I admired the small garden and listened to him tell me about the new seeds he'd planted, how long it would take for them to sprout, which potted plants he'd fertilized, and what kind of fertilizer he'd bought… I also told him about my work progress, the things I'd just finished, and the fun things I'd had with my students. Besides planting more greenery to bring fresh air into the house, maintaining an optimistic and positive spirit, and showing care and concern for each other, will undoubtedly improve mental health. Changing the dining space is also a way to combat boredom at home, like putting a fresh coat on the conversations around daily meals.
Did you know that each of us is surrounded by a circle, representing our own personal space and the space we share with the outside world, with others?
When we interact with someone, if we're in a good mood, our speech and behavior are pleasant. Conversely, if we're stressed or angry and someone approaches us, we often respond with unpleasantness. Therefore, our outward actions and attitudes are merely reflections of our inner world. Inside each person is a space containing their thoughts and feelings. Everyone has their own "circle" of world. When two people are together, there's an intermingling of these two spaces—the atmosphere between them. Therefore, being with someone is like entering a room; you can sense whether the atmosphere is light or stuffy.
There were times when we argued and shed countless tears, even saying hurtful things to each other, simply because we didn't know how to share "space" with one another. We were together, seeing each other very often, but if neither of us knew how to cultivate positive energy, it easily created a suffocating atmosphere. Or in many cases I know, two people sitting opposite each other, or even lying next to each other, yet the space between them seemed immense, and they didn't even truly notice each other's presence.
This makes me think of the saying, "Out of sight, out of mind." Is that really true, or is it because the two of them are inherently...far from heartThat's whyfaceIf each person knows how to nurture their own inner garden, then beautiful feelings for the other person will be strengthened. Conversely, if each person cannot protect their inner space with positive energy, it is easy to become emotionally distant, leading to a lack of desire or need to meet and share with the other person. Furthermore, creating changes in the family's living space will also help keep the relationship fresh. In that case, even if the two people are physically far apart, their hearts will remain close.
My wife and I share the same philosophy: "Wherever we live, that's home." Therefore, regardless of circumstances, we always strive to create a comfortable living space where we can relax and breathe freely, shedding the thick dust of bustling Saigon and the overwhelming stresses that settle in our minds. For us, home is a peaceful sanctuary. Our lives these days are incredibly tranquil; although we each have our own space to work, our hearts remain connected, occasionally sharing moments of tenderness. And at any time, we can find solace in the cool greenery of our small garden, or by the window overlooking the fruit-laden starfruit tree in front of the yard, to breathe, listen to ourselves, listen to each other, and keep our minds pure.
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