Traditional and modern weddings - Where is the balance?

Another wedding season is upon us, and as many couples are busy preparing for their big day, the question arises: what trends will dominate the wedding market in the final months of this year?

Just a decade ago, the common Vietnamese understanding of "marriage" consisted of an engagement ceremony, the welcoming of the bride, and then a celebratory feast with relatives from both families and friends. Wedding ceremonies were typically held at private homes, in wedding tents, or in larger halls with more amenities.

In recent years, the influence of Western culture, along with the impact of the Covid-19 pandemic, has created ideal conditions for another wedding trend to emerge: the intimate wedding. As the name suggests, the ceremony will be limited to a certain number of attendees and will be more relaxed and informal, reflecting the preferences of the bride and groom.

So what do those involved think about these wedding styles? Which wedding trends are more popular and loved? Let's listen to what young people have to say about their weddings.

Traditional weddings – Are they really a burden?

According to traditional beliefs, marriage is one of the most important events in a person's life. Therefore, everything must be done meticulously, in the presence of ancestors, family, relatives, and all friends. A traditional wedding can involve hundreds of tables of food, becoming an occasion for everyone to meet, socialize, and share the joy with the newlyweds.

Thùy Linh, currently living in Hanoi, shared: “I feel that traditional weddings have their own unique charm. The ritual of asking ancestors for their witness makes the ceremony very meaningful. Furthermore, a wedding is an opportunity for long-lost relatives and friends to reunite and share a common joy that they rarely have the chance to experience due to busy schedules.”

However, the complexity of organization and the large number of attendees can sometimes become a drawback, making many people hesitant to consider a traditional wedding. A common situation for brides and grooms is that they don't know many of the attendees, as most are friends of their parents or distant relatives from both families whom they rarely meet. According to Thùy Linh, depending on each person's personality and culture, this can be either a "minus" or an "advantage."

"I prefer intimate, private gatherings to large parties, but my husband prefers a wedding where the more people, the merrier. According to him, if there hasn't been a chance to introduce and get to know each other, the wedding is an opportunity for the bride, groom, and everyone else to officially share, chat, and become closer."

Modern weddings – Freedom to be yourself.

In recent years, modern, intimate weddings have become very popular among young couples because they address many of the "shortcomings" of traditional wedding styles. Not bound by a specific sequence of rituals, or confined to a few styles of decoration or attire, modern weddings allow brides and grooms to freely create a joyous day that reflects their own preferences and personalities.

“Our wedding was limited to family, friends, and closest colleagues, about a few dozen people. We chose a cozy garden setting, personally selected each flower, prepared gifts for guests, and created fun games to connect everyone. Those are the things I enjoyed most about organizing an intimate wedding,” shared Phuong Anh (Hanoi).

Because of the unique nature of this type of wedding, participants also get to experience many pleasant surprises that are rarely seen in a typical wedding.

Ha, a student in Hanoi, said: “Last month was the first time I attended an intimate wedding, and it was incredibly impressive because of how fun it was. Attendees didn't just eat, take photos, and leave; they also participated in incredibly fun games like answering riddles, setting off fireworks, drawing… and received small gifts to take home. Everyone was happy, and I even made many interesting new friends.”

In addition, the "invite only the closest friends and family" nature of an intimate wedding somewhat reduces the burden on those who are invited.

"In my opinion, not everyone feels comfortable being invited to weddings where they aren't particularly close to the organizer. There are cases where friends who haven't seen or spoken to each other for decades suddenly receive an invitation. This puts the invited person in a very awkward situation; not attending would be impolite, but attending would be embarrassing," Phương Anh said.

Is there a combination?

Although modern weddings offer a lot of freedom and are very popular among young couples, there are still barriers that make many people hesitant to choose this style of wedding. One of the most common reasons stems from family.

"When organizing a wedding, parents hope to have the opportunity to invite friends, colleagues, and distant relatives to attend and share in the joy on their child's special day."

"So we decided to split the wedding into two separate events: one for family, relatives, and friends of my parents, and one for our closest friends," Phương Anh shared.

This approach is adopted by many young couples to satisfy both their personal preferences and family needs; however, it is quite expensive. A wedding divided into two separate ceremonies means that the costs for venue, decoration, organization, and attire are doubled. Therefore, to choose this option, the bride and groom need thorough financial preparation and careful planning to control their expenses.

On the other hand, Thuy Linh chose to combine the best aspects of both styles for her wedding:

“On the one hand, we held the wedding at home, setting up a small wedding tent and decorating it simply like a traditional wedding. On the other hand, we limited the number of guests to a minimum, including family, relatives, and the closest friends. Traditional ceremonies were also performed fully and meticulously. This way of organizing the wedding suited us because it met the basic wishes of our families, was neat and cozy, and saved on costs.”

Whether small or large, intimate and cozy or lively and extravagant, a wedding is a significant milestone in the lives of two people. Enjoy it to the fullest, so that the happiness and memories will last forever.

Thu Le