According to Chang May Choon, a writer for the Straits Times, a recent survey showed that only 19% of respondents planned to return to their hometowns or travel during the Chuseok holiday, the Korean Mid-Autumn Festival, which lasts five days a year. Most decided to stay in the city because of concerns about the epidemic, which is developing complicatedly in some localities. However, Chang May believes that the fear of having to work hard in the kitchen during the holiday also affects this trend.
For many wives and mothers in Korea, Chuseok is not only a time for family reunion, but also a "season of rage", when discrimination between men and women in the family is most evident. Actress Hwang Eun-jeong once recounted her experience preparing for the Mid-Autumn Festival at her husband's house: "I had to get up at 3am to cook. I was confused about whether I was a wife or a restaurant employee."
Women cook, men rest
Just like in the movies, on every holiday, women - especially those who marry the eldest son in the family - have to work all day preparing sumptuous offerings, welcoming relatives and cleaning the house after the guests have all left.
Meanwhile, men can comfortably sit and eat, drink, and celebrate, without having to do any housework. Despite their hard work, women’s contributions during holidays like Chuseok are rarely respected or recognized by family members. Therefore, they always carry resentment and anger within them, but are forced to suppress it.
The author experienced this when she went to her husband’s cousin’s house for Chuseok in 2015, after moving to Seoul. As soon as she set foot in the house, Chang May was immediately pulled into the kitchen by the other female members, who urged her to cook a feast.
A table of offerings during the Korean Mid-Autumn Festival.
In contrast, her husband sat calmly in the living room, sipping wine and snacks, chatting with the other men in the house. Amidst the bustling, noisy atmosphere, Chang could not relax as she stood in the middle of the kitchen, continuously frying Jeon.
Even after the ancestral worship, the men immediately sat down at the table while the women waited. By the time it was her turn to eat, the Jeon cake Chang had made had all been sold out. However, the author was not the only one to have such an experience. A friend of hers also said that her limbs ached after each holiday due to standing in the kitchen cooking and cleaning for many hours.
The smell of grease and food still lingered in their hair for days afterward. In fact, no matter how tired they were, the wives did not dare ask their husbands for help, or refused to do housework for fear of receiving negative, scrutinizing looks from the elders in the house, especially their mothers-in-law. This experience made Chang realize that even in a modern country like Korea, discrimination between men and women still exists, deeply rooted in the ideology of many classes of people.
Korean women's "anger disease"
In Korea, "hwabyeong", or "wrath disease", is the name of a psychological symptom. People with this condition often suppress their anger and resentment for a long time, leading to symptoms such as difficulty breathing, rapid heartbeat, headaches, anxiety and depression. This psychological state affects more than 10,000 people each year, especially during or after Chuseok. Notably, women are the most susceptible to "wrath disease".
In addition, the divorce rate during the Mid-Autumn Festival tends to increase due to the increase in conflicts and disagreements between couples. Therefore, when the government discourages family gatherings of more than 8 people at home during this holiday due to concerns about the Covid-19 epidemic, it becomes a joy for many wives and mothers.
Nowadays, many mothers-in-law are less strict and critical of their daughters-in-law because they do not want to repeat the pain they have suffered to others. Women with higher education and financial independence are also more aware of gender issues and are willing to fight for their rights.
Korean women suffer from "anger syndrome" when it comes to Mid-Autumn Festival.
A friend of Chang's said that her mother always treated her daughters-in-law kindly and enthusiastically, not requiring them to cook during Chuseok.
"She doesn't want any girl, whether daughter or daughter-in-law, to suffer that pain anymore," she said.
Another friend said that her mother encouraged her daughter to pursue her passion, not bound by social notions such as "must get married" or "must take care of the family".
"I saw how my mother suffered when she had no choice. Nowadays, women have more choices, there is no need to get married and suffer such a loss," she shared with the author. This year, Chang's family chose to stay in Seoul for Chuseok. Sometimes, she wonders if she will develop "anger disease" if she continues to return to her husband's house to celebrate the holiday like that year.
