Love from afar

I first came across Trịnh Công Sơn's music in the 8th grade, when I watched the movie "Do You Still Remember or Have You Forgotten?" and heard Thùy Dung sing; it was so beautiful. On a trip to the district market with my cousin, I passed by a cassette tape stall and bought a Trịnh Công Sơn music tape. I started listening to "Sơn ca số 7" (Nightingale No. 7) from that time on. Listening to Khánh Ly, I became obsessed with Trịnh Công Sơn's music from that time as well.

I remember those days wandering around Saigon, sitting in a roadside cafe on a suburban street late at night, made of a few umbrellas, drinking coffee and smoking Bastos cigarettes, listening to the rain lashing down on my head, and the mournful sighs of Khanh Ly:

"It's raining outside,
Whose soul is adrift?
My dear, my eyes are filled with tears.
Don't cry in the rainy night.
Don't complain in the song..." (1)

Back then, in a foreign land, with an uncertain future, listening to Khanh Ly sing made me feel as thin and fragile as the piece of oilcloth temporarily covering the corner of an alleyway where an old lottery ticket vendor on Nguyen Thai Son Street, Go Vap, sought shelter from the rain...

During my days in Vung Tau, I was alone in my rented room at the corner of Gieng Nuoc intersection. On Sunday afternoons, the city was small, I had few friends, the afternoon sun slanted across the fields, and I wondered whether I should cook dinner or just go to a restaurant for a few drinks. Khanh Ly's thoughts remained vague and heartfelt, emanating from the old, worn-out speakers perched at the foot of her makeshift wooden bed:

"Sometimes the sun shines through the eaves,
It reminds me of
sometimes,
Suddenly I heard footsteps,
somewhere,
of mine..." (2)

Feeling weary and homesick for my distant homeland…

During those days at sea, with big waves and strong winds, I'd crawl up to the deck to send the report, then cautiously make my way back. I'd pull out my laptop with a cracked Windows installation and turn it on to watch "Sea Memories":

"I'm leaving tomorrow."
The sea remembers your name and calls you back.
summoning the spirit of the weeping willow.
"Calling the white sand beach late at night..." (3)

Thinking about it, I wonder what that man named Trinh ate and drank to write lyrics that stirred such deep emotions.

Many years later, one scorching afternoon at the end of May, my little daughter, barely three years old, was lulled to sleep for the first time by gently stroking her back while repeatedly singing the song "Distant Love." It became so familiar that later, whenever she wanted to be lulled to sleep, she would whisper, "Daddy, sing a song about a certain day and month, please."

I remember those candlelit nights on the slope of the old Diem Inn, the strumming of the guitar, the rustling of leaves, the enchanting singing voices flickering in the dim candlelight, mesmerizing and distant:

"...My lover is still here,
You know what, sir?
The lawn is still green.
The sun is still rising.
Oh, May!
footprints
Now it's also dusty...” (4)

Honestly, I haven't seen a city more reminiscent of Trinh Cong Son's music than Da Lat. Listening to Trinh Cong Son's music immediately conjures up images of the streets of this eternally melancholic city: the enchanting pink grass hills, the whispering pine forests, the lakes shimmering in the sunlight yet still shrouded in lingering mist, the curved roof of the Da Lat College of Education resembling the flowing ao dai of a schoolgirl by Xuan Huong Lake in the gentle afternoon breeze...

Now, sometimes when I'm with my child, I occasionally turn on a CD player in the car, listening to the crackling and crackling sounds of vinyl records, the guitar notes emanating from one speaker, then jumping to another. The lyrics are old, but the feeling seems to remain unchanged:

"Which date,
He's gone.
While we were still sitting there.
Which love affair,
They have set sail.
We will remain here forever..." (5)

The little girl exclaimed softly, as if she had found something: "Dad, this is the lullaby you used to sing to me when I was little..."

My child is over three years old, and listening to Trinh Cong Son's music has replaced even lullabies...

Once again, we celebrate the anniversary of Trinh Cong Son's existence. This day allows his songs to endure through the years, accompanying countless lives and traversing countless lands. There are times when I feel as if I am immersed in those songs. There are times when I feel as if I am leaning on Trinh Cong Son's music, resting my head on his shoulders, accompanying him through the melancholic, wistful yet beautiful melancholy of his songs, navigating the twists and turns of a youth filled with hardship but also brimming with hope.

(1): Wet eyelashes
(2): Then like a naive stone
(3): Sea of ​​memories
(4): Let a person lie down
(5): Love from afar
Titles of famous songs by composer Trịnh Công Sơn

(Author's essay)

Le Hong Lam